excercise is good

it is late, or at least later. i am in one of those moods where you feel like you just need to stare at the internet, even though you've stared at a computer all day. it strikes nerves of restlessness, loneliness, and something else. my joints feel achey in the way that says, what are you doing?

im surfing. im stalling. i was talking about a sense of happiness with seye. seems to be a common theme on this blog which highlights that i am still looking for it. we were saying how we felt very happy on a macro level. im quite happy from a zeplin. when driving home late the other night, however, i noticed a vague sense of tension. it felt like a cold draft through the door. i am not a fully content as i may think. some people are very happy. when asked, "how are things?" they respond "great!". i say "good". i dont know if i have ever responded "great!" and felt like i was not telling a white lie. i dont think i have ever said "terrible" either. i wouldnt mind feeling like i could say both. emotions used to be a bummer, now i am fond of them.

when we feel inadequate, perhaps it is because we are. perhaps it is nothing to fret about in the end.